My friend and I were talking after a long frustrating month. we were finally talking about something more than good morning, good night and how to edit the wedding photographs.
We were talking about a narrow lane he discovered at his locality, the kind of conversations I crave for.
After a long decaying time of life, and pointless conversations about sex, office politics and sexist slangs; there was this narrow lane.
I remember the narrow lane of my childhood next to my home. And I remember remembering that I never saw the end of it. Only memory I have of that lane was my then hero, my father figure saved a kitten. How brave he was, didn’t care for the wound he got on his face, later I put boroline on it, crying, with my tiny hands. The only antiseptic I knew at three years of age. More than two decades have passed since then. Home has changed and relationships. Rough hands wounded me with the same antibiotics I can never heal.
Making me cowardly brave enough to go on. And greedy for a place to belong, place never exist or like the end of the lane, somewhere I never explored.
My friend and I were talking about how we miss each other, like the narrow lane we could have explored, I think we could have had a conversation too, long before today, every yesterday we could have. We could have just fucked everything and went for discovering those narrow lanes of our childhood full of fluffy kittens in distress. But there was I, trying hard and hard and hard to change the topic of cheap politics, and slangs indicating particular sets chromosomes by the not so narrow lane ends at the iron grid of Territorial government assurance. It will keep us safe, from the pond next to it, and fishes.
We could have had a great conversation, Conversation I was missing, never realising doesn’t matter how narrow it was, it was a lane, and it leads somewhere. And there will be a home.
My friend said he discovered a home there, at his locality at the end of that lane, a home he never saw before. It happens, life it is. Eventually it gets better, with a good conversation and end of some looping lanes.