Maa

“Don’t destroy your life”

A street vendor said

Old he was what does he know of life?

Maa, he called me

Don’t smoke.

What does he know of maa?

And smokes.

Things are related I guess,

When everything around me drag me down

To I place only my burden to bear

Nowhere to share.

The more I struggle,

Avoid contacts

Eye, ear, touch

All the senses

Quieter places aren’t quiet anymore

It buzzes, of words

Life, Love, Maa.

How many layers I have seen

In such simplicity.

How many nights I have spent rigid

Scared, trying hard to save my life

But love.

And somebody called me Maa.

Tranquility

One thing for sure,

Peace isn’t a normal phenomena 

And human all around us,

Never like peace

Some destroy it physically, verbally

Some with silence

And some with words

So beautifully written in pages

It never fades away.
One thing for sure,

Peace is like love

Someday suddenly you will find it

A confused soul

You know you have to let it go

But for the moment

When the eyes speak and sparkle 

Telling a story will never be true

You know peace is here

And time is running out.

Enemies

Here everything will be alright,

Here everyone is the same

Doctor to dish washer,

Kids and mother.

Here no need of clothes

Here they are all Phoenix

Will be turned into smoke

They don’t believe in reincarnations

Here, there are no countries

Soldiers wants to go home

None rises from the ashes

For another misery

The ideas of little children,

Unaware in a safe haven made of fences

And blue and white pajamas

Will be safe,

Here in stones

Next to the quiet sea

Here they are human free

First to know,

Water will soon swallow

All our great Nations.

To the flame tree

When things are almost gone

All remain is a never ending time

A time doesn’t even exist

For things to come back again.

When things are almost gone,

And you remember when it was there,

You could grab it, play with it

Destroy it in the name of love

And dump it

The red do bleed

Into green

Unreachable now, 

Don’t even wanna touch it

Just hope it stays,

Until it’s red again.

To dawn

How can people not like dawn?

When people sleep peacefully

And streets are quiet

And so the birds

A moment, 

When everyone is safe

Or someone just died

About to be discovered

By the other sleepy person

In dawn, even deaths are safe.

so am I.

In need of solace

Sometimes, it’s good to believe in some beautiful lie.

For a moment 

We can live in it 

An enjoy

Before it hurts

But that sometimes never come to my life

Always filtering lies

And living with them, 

Not a single moment for my white washed eyes

Why,

Why my eye sights are too bright?

My mum said 

I am going to end up alone

What a glorious way to live and die!

Then why all those lies stuck with me

Trying so hard to make me believe 

Truth.

Truth only exist in darkness 

When I sleep

And in some awkward silence

Before I had to go back to words

And people screaming with their

Loud body language,

I want to open my mouth,

And say something beautiful, lies

Like see you again

Or some bitter truth.
Don’t come back.

Incapable of love

Everyday I walk one step closer to love,

Everyday I find out

How incapable of love I am

Some day, when I am depressed

Thinking about future, career, trauma,

Family and relationships

All the big stuff for life

And how stuck and fucked up I am

And someone notice some small stuff

Which was buried beneath 

All of my struggle and life

And for a moment I feel comfortable.

Love has to provide,

Every moment, the right stuff

The good stuff

Love, what I thought it is,

Being comfortable in each other’s presence

Is so far away 

That it doesn’t exist.

benzodiazepine 

The first thing I heard, yesterday morning

Was things breaking

My new umbrella, 

Which I was supposed to carry

Yesterday it was raining heavily.

And my dad screaming, in pain

And anger

And my mum, the same.

The first thing I saw, when I woke up

Was my mum, looking at my uncle

Dark faced

And my uncle like a Savage wolf

Slowly marching towards her.

I knew, probably he would not hit her

Because we are so civilized,

Our ancestors, were lords and kings

We ruled the savages, the poor

We are the aristocrats.

I knew he grabbed my mum’s hair gently

Because she needed to be punished

For hitting my father with something

And my father needed to be punished

For breaking my umbrella.

I left my home yesterday morning

With a constant gift wrap 

Of civilized violence,

And a guilt, That I am running away

Not saving them

I returned home today

And found out in the jungle 

Of civilized wolfs,

Everything is alright again.

Just me, 

Gobbling three times a day

My prescriptioned lorazepam.

Suicide note in advance

When people choose to die

And after their death people evaluate

What went wrong

Depression, drug abuse, heart breaks.

When people choose to die

Happy people

I used to think why?

Why not?

I am a happy person

Everyone knows me, know that.

My mere presence make them happy

I used to think them,

People like me

From the screen a bit famous,

Why do they die.

Nobody ever asked us,

“How are you”

Not indicating only our physical health.

I guess that’s why.

When people choose to die

Tired of giving happiness

Not having it,

They give me hope.

That even in death,

People will pretend to know me,

Without knowing me at all

And I will be safe

In that never asked question,

How am I.

Death of music

Every day, I wake up and think that maybe, another one will be gone, from my ears.

One voice will leave this realm,

One music, one mode of communication will be gone. And thousand digital one will be born. Never touching the heart,

Never killing the souls.

Never living thousands of lives unknowingly. 

Everyday some must die.

Who knows what the take,

And who knows what they leave behind.

Oneday, all will be buried

In the water.

Or the absence of it.